On this episode I’m joined with my ohmie Keyana Jones Nikaamen. She is the founding owner of Hikeoultion, a revolutionary hiking organization that is focused on evolution and community solutions. In our mat chat we catch up on marriage, motherhood, sexual assault, social justice and healing through hiking.
On this episode I’m joined with my ohmie Keyana Jones Nikaamen. She is the founding owner of Hikeoultion, a revolutionary hiking organization that is focused on evolution and community solutions. In our mat chat we catch up on marriage, motherhood, sexual assault, social justice and healing through hiking.
https://www.instagram.com/hikeolution/
https://www.meetup.com/HIKEOLUTION/
https://www.eventbrite.com/o/hikeolution-14958093805
File:Yoga Wit The Ohmies - S01E02 - Keyana Nikaamen - Final.mp3
Length: 31:35
Intro: On this episode, I'm joined with my Ohmies Keyana Jones Nikaamen, she is the founding owner of Hikeolution, a revolutionary hiking organization that is focused on Evolution and Community Solutions. And our mat chat, we catch up on all thing’s marriage, motherhood, sexual assault, social justice, and healing through hiking.
Interviewer: So, do you remember the first time you hit the hiking trail? What was it?
Keyana Nikaamen: I remember my very first hike. And is always funny when I tell the story because there's a guy involved. So, my first hike was in October 2013. And I had just met this guy at the North Museum, an older man, he's nice. And so, we started talking in about July of 2013. And then in October, around our third date, he wanted the third date to be a hike. And I didn't know what to expect or what to wear. And it's so funny because I remember going out to the store days before, and I brought, I can track a suit and socks and a backpack and water bottles and all these things.
I spent $60 for no darn reason, because I was like, I don't know what a hiker wear. But let me just be prepared, because I had never done it before. Now, I will say the only thing I regret is that I wore construction boots, which is the absolute worst. We were hiking in for about four hours, six miles. And at the end, my feet were killing me. But other than that, it was such a wonderful experience. I remember, my mom was pretty nervous. She was like you're going on a hike in like in the woods with a stranger. No, you're not. So, I had that piece to deal with because I'm adventurous. So, I'm like, I talk to strangers. You know, I'll go but she was like, no. So, when we got there, he's like, leave your phone in the car.
Interviewer: That's a really cute date idea. And then here you go hear your mom's voice. I guess that could [cross-talking 2:03] and she just like, killjoy burst that bubble.
Keyana Nikaamen: And then it was funny because when we got to the parking lot, we went to the South Mountain reservation, which, as you know, is our love. I'm there all the time. So, he's like, leave your phone in the car. And then as soon as he said that my mom's voice came and I was like, this man tried to kill me, I didn't panic, but I was just like, no, I'm not going to leave my phone in the car. Thank you so much, sir. But I did turn it on silent. And the reason why he wanted me to leave my phone is that he didn't want me to be distracted.
You know how we are where our cell phone sometimes I had been out with him before, he noticed that text messages always coming in, I'm constantly checking. So, he just didn't want that for this particular day. So, I'm grateful for that. So, while I was out there, I love the sun on my face, the sounds of birds chirping, the water that was wondering, you could hear the water from miles away. And it was really as if time stood still. And I had never felt peace like that, where time just sits still, and my mind was clear and empty. That was a feeling I never experienced in my entire life. So, that's what I fell in love with, that feeling of peace. And since I got that from hiking, I was like, well, that's how you get that piece. So, we went out over and over again. From that first hike.
We went out the week, like all the time because I needed to distress and I've been working for the state of New Jersey for 15 years now. And those jobs are stressful. There are deadlines, there are piles and piles of paperwork, there's dealing with the public that doesn't want you to deal with them. And any state job means being in the public's business, and they don't want you there. Especially when I worked at Dices. You think my clients were happy to see me, no, to have that kind of negativity, day after day on your job and to come home with it and carry it. And also, just to be a little transparent on that particular day, I still remember, there was an ex that I was dealing with, who was very toxic, our relationship was just god awful.
So, he was kind of still in the picture at this time in 2013. And because I was trying to get away from him, we weren't together. He was being very mean. So, he was on Facebook bashing me, all day, every day making these posts, posting these photos, some intimate photos of us, and just saying, Keyana this, Keyana that. So, on this particular day, while I'm waiting for this other guy to pick me up for the hike. He had just posted something. So, I was livid. So, on the car ride to South Mountain. I'm telling this new guy, there's this guy I'm just like laying it all on him.
And that's another reason why he wanted me to leave my phone in the car because he's like, yes, all that, I don't want you thinking about it on the hike. When we got out of the car, I was thinking, how am I going to not think about this he's trying to damage my character. I have to go in there. I have to bash him back. I have to say all these things. So, I was surprised, literally surprised that the hike took my mind off of that. Because that was such a huge burden on my shoulder in the past few weeks, this guy and I, and to go on a hike and forget that all that was happening. I was like, this is a jackpot right here. This is a winner. So, that was my first hike.
Interviewer: I appreciate you sharing that. I'm so sorry, you had to experience that. That's before we had the language for what is it? Revenge porn and nudes and things like that, intimate photos out of revenge.
Keyana Nikaamen: That's exactly what it was. And I had looked it up and learn that term, and I wanted to go to the police. But then it's like something that happens to victims, sexual assault victims, revenge porn victims, sexual harassment victims, we get victimized twice when we go to tell it because it's like, okay, he put these pictures on the internet that's all ready for the world to see. But I notify Facebook and they get it taken down. Now, if I go to the police station, that's even more people that I have to show these pictures to for proof. I just wanted to stop it. So, I didn't go to the police and that's what we do. We just kind of eat it and say, I don't want to further be humiliated or further be victimized, so I'll just take it. That situation with him was just awkward.
Interviewer: Yes. I've also experienced sexual assault before. And it's something that I've never spoken about publicly. Because to your point, no, I didn't want to be shamed. And honestly, I didn't even know it was sexual assault until the Me-Too Movement happened, and then being able to have the language. That is what happened to me. So, that's powerful that a lot of victims sit with that pain, not wanting to share not feeling that we will be seen and heard and believed. This took a turn that I wasn't expecting us to go down. But thank you.
Keyana Nikaamen: Mine either, because I was just about to say that this whole Me-Too Movement, the articles that came out and the language as you said, the more that they started defining things, I did start to see other instances in my past, like, that's what that was. I didn't feel comfortable about that there's something called, I can't remember right now. But it's when you have sex with someone out of pity, there's a word for it, I can't think of the word. But I remember doing it so much and I don't know what to say so much. But I do remember specifically doing that with some individuals, that they were not people that I was sexually interested in. Not romantically interested.
But it's just you're over their house because they bring you over under the pretense of watching a movie or hanging out and you're just having such a good time with them on your end. But they're plotting on you on their end. Things are happening and you tell them no, thank you I don't want to do this. It's so gentle that you don't feel it's rapey because they’re so nice to you. After all, it's like television makes you think rapists, they're going to smack you and throw you down and rip your clothes off. But sometimes it's your friend who you like who you feel so comfortable around. And he's kind of talking softly to you, don't be like that and you're like, I don't want to do this, though.
But they're so sweet, I can't even describe because it sounds so ridiculous, that someone's making you do something against your will and you still describe it in a sweet. That's what always bothered me in my head. How can I complain about this? When I didn't do anything, I didn't punch him, I didn't fight, but I felt like I would be wrong to hit someone who isn't being aggressive to me. It's so weird. But I was so happy to read these articles and learn because I did after I learned them. I did go to the person. And this is like 10 years after the fact. And I called him I said, there's something that I learned today that I just wanted to share with you. This happened with us and I didn't appreciate it. And I didn't get a chance to tell you before because I didn't have words for it. But now I do. And he was so apologetic, I'm so happy that we got cut off.
Interviewer: My God, I love that. Yes. Good for you for going back and speaking up for yourself. And yes, good for him for taking accountability and saying I was wrong in that situation. I love that.
Keyana Nikaamen: It was like weight and it's a weight that I didn't know existed, I never thought about it after it happened. It's not like I thought about it every day. I just forgot about it until I read the article which was describing a situation that was exactly like mine. And they were calling it rape and I was like, hold up, I've been there. So, I just wanted to bring it to his attention. I wasn't accusatory I just told him, just how I feel as I said he was so embarrassed and so apologetic he was like; I had no idea. I thought you wanted it too, you didn't say anything. I thought it was okay. I was like, yes, well, just so you know in the future, it's not okay. Make sure you get a crystal clear, yes, these passive things, these little gray areas that you're trying to slide it, just don't go in the gray area go for the true green light.
Interviewer: Yes, I think a part of it too, is empowering our girls and our daughters to be able to, number one, have agency and autonomy over our bodies. And then number two, to be able to speak up and say what it is that we want. What do we desire? What pleases us, what doesn't please us? And so many times, I know in my own life, I never had those conversations with my mom, she never taught me how to conduct myself in a dating or courting relationship. Or she never even taught me that I had the power to say no, it was a guy that I was dating in Dallas, where we had a conversation around consent. And he was like, it's up to the woman. If a woman doesn't give us consent or green light, then that's rape.
And he didn't necessarily say it in those terms. But the way that he said it, it resonated like, wow, I do have all the power to say no. And I had that conversation when I was in my mid to late 20s. [Inaudible 11:34]. 15 16 years old. So, there had been a huge gap of 10 plus years, me not knowing that I own my body. And if I'm in a situation where I don't feel comfortable, I can leave. There are just so many situations where I've stayed there, and I have had sex with the person because I felt well, you're here already. And this is what he's expecting so give him what he wants and then you can leave and not have to deal with him ever again.
And I didn't have to do that, none of us have to do that. I think it is about the conversations and the way that we empower our daughters, and also the conversations that we're having with sons as well and teaching them [inaudible 12:15] ways to properly court and date and pursue a woman and let kids know, yes, sex is going to happen. I don't know you're a mom so you might have a different perspective. But I feel like in reality, teenagers, young adults, they're going to have sex, why not give them the language and the tools to be able to conduct themselves accordingly, how they want, how they would feel most respected and empower them when they go into these places instead of having them go in completely dark with whatever they find on the internet or conversations that they have with their friends.
Keyana Nikaamen: Yes, no, I feel exactly like you, as a teen my mother and I, we never talked about sex. And so, becoming pregnant at 18 having my son at 19, was a huge disappointment. We hadn't had a conversation about it, but she was so saddened that I found myself pregnant. And as you said, we're starting in our teens, and then we're going through our 20s. And we don't have the proper information about this act, so just like you, I didn't get my voice and didn't get empowered about my body until my late 20s, early 30s as well.
And when I thought I kind of I was like, man, I wish I was this woman earlier, where I was strong enough to tell people, no, that's not how this is about to go down. But instead, I thought that our role as a woman just took it whatever they want it because this is more of their thing than our thing. I had that false view, they kind of teach girls to be so demure and not to talk about sex, you're not sexual that's kind of like the guy and that's not true. We have things we're interested in as well. And I think that when you tell us not to be so vocal about it, then you silence us and make them the aggressor just by default.
Interviewer: Outside of sexual health and wellness, what type of overall holistic wellness and self-care tips are you passing down to your son who's now 20, and your future baby girl who will be here soon?
Keyana Nikaamen: Yes, my baby. So, well, as I said, before, I had my son when I was just 19 years old. I was a freshman in college, and I still had a lot to learn about myself and life. And yes, he's 20 now, and he's such a wonderful young man. And I'm just amazed every time I see him because I can't believe that I did such a wonderful job. I'm still shocked because the whole time I felt like I was bumbling through it. But to see the fruits of my labor. It's like, wow, I did that. But I didn't do it alone. Fortunately, because his father is a strong black man loved him to death. And both of our families were just heavily involved. So, my son had grandparents and aunts and uncles on both sides who were fully vested in his upbringing. And so, I'm just, first and foremost, forever thankful for that. But so, by the time I learned self-care, we're talking maybe 2011.
And my son was 10, so I don't feel like I taught him anything specifically, I've never sat him down and said, this is self-care, this is what we do. But one thing is for sure, children learn by example. So, he's seen me, his mother going to yoga classes. He's seen me meditating lighting, incense, and sage all around the house. And then now with the hiking, I've taken him on hikes with me. And he's also been to these panel discussions, I've been asked to speak at certain engagements, and I talked about Hikeolution. And my son has been in the audience, so he knows. And as proud as I am of him, the young man that he's become, he's also, told me how proud he is of me, and that I inspire him. So, that always makes me smile and it always makes me teary-eyed too. So, I know that my son is grounded, and has the tools that he needs to navigate life stressors, even though I didn't give him a lesson out of a book.
We didn't sit down at a table and have a workshop, but he has seen it just from my lifestyle changes. And also last year, when we were all dealing with the pandemic, quarantining and the social unrest of the summer, I made sure to check in with him, that's when we had conversations because he's a young black man growing up in America. And I asked him, how are you feeling about this? I wanted to get his thoughts on the current events because that stuff is heavy. These kids, and not just kids, because he's a young man 20 is not a kid, but also, the younger kids, the ones that are under 10. In the 10s, this is heavy stuff to be seen on the news to be cooked in the house.
So, we have as parents check in with our children and say, how do you feel about this? And so those talks that I had with him, further gave me insight on what kind of head he has on his shoulders, and he has a good head on his shoulders. I'm so proud of my son. He's a sophomore in college, and we talk all the time and he knows what's going on. He watches movies, I asked him if he watched, Judas in the Black Messiah. I'm constantly seeing his YouTube videos. We saw hidden colors back in the day, I think he was 11 at that time. So, I'm just constantly imparting the wisdom that I know I'm giving to him because that's all I can do. And he's taking it.
Interviewer: I love it. I love that you've been intentional about having those conversations, as I was about maybe nine years old when the Rodney King beating happened. And I vividly remember seeing that footage on TV. And one of my older cousins, she took me and another cousin of mine, we were both eight, nine years old to Pizza Hut. And she sat and had a conversation with us in the pizza hut, her dining room, what did you see on TV with the LAPD? And how does that make you feel? What do you think about those images? And she was the only adult in my family to sit and have that conversation. And I'm so grateful, that conversation still resonates so deeply I'm so grateful that she took that time. But I think it is really important for parents to sit and have those conversations, your kids are exposed to so much you have to talk to them. How are they feeling? How are they thinking? How are they processing all of this? You have to.
Keyana Nikaamen: Yes, it's a lot. It's so heavy. That George Floyd video was one of the worst, in my opinion, and it's just heartbreaking, and he's not the first there are so many hundreds of years of black men and women being killed and even in the [unclear 18:51] was the worst, before George Floyd. But is this a lot for children who are not understanding the full scope of what the world is like? And then to have to see this and maybe have some cognitive dissonance, wow, I feel safe in my world I thought everything was fine. But what is this I'm seeing on the news, now I'm scared. And my son, from a young age, like seven, used to love Doomsday Preppers I don't know if you know that show. It's when they prepare for the end of the world. So, they stock up on all these things and they tell what you should have. And so, from a young age, he was really into that.
And he used to know a lot of stats, he never wanted to fly. He never wants to go to California; he just gets in his head about these disasters and now he's always made me sad as a mom. So, I'm like, no, baby I don't want you to live in fear, I've never wanted you to live like that. Yes, it's crazy stuff that could happen out here, but don't let that keep you in the house. So, I knew from a young age that he would take those things on so that's why it was really important for me last year to check in with him because I'm like, I know how he can be, Coronavirus, the killing of black men and women, he may never leave this house again. And then when his school closed, and they did come back home, and he doesn't go out much, which I'm super grateful for. I don't have a son that runs the streets. But the fact that him staying in the house, I wanted to make sure it was just him not having anything to do. So, he didn't go out, and not him being fearful to go out. Because I'm concerned about his mental health, I want to make sure he's all good. And he is, he's not scared.
Interviewer: That's good. Yes, because that was a huge transition for college students as well. I can't remember if he was living on campus or not. Good. So, I'm glad he's doing well.
Keyana Nikaamen: I'm sorry, you also asked about my daughter. So yes, I'm pregnant now. [unclear 20:47] is coming any day now. And for her, I'm excited because I'm now able to teach her early what we learned late, you know that phrase. So, the fact that I have all this info that I'm just ready to give her from the start, see what my son, as I said, I was still learning. So, he kind of got it much later. But with the new baby that's coming, she'll be just immersed in our household because my husband and I, have meditation sessions. That's a ritual that we already have, we meditate together. We have the singing bowls that we strike. We listen to it on Chakra balancing music while we sleep. So, our daughter is going to just be raised in a home that makes self-care a priority. She won't know anything but peace, there's no other way. Because that's just our life.
Interviewer: Yes, I was just about to say you are giving her all the self-care and wellness from the womb because she hears the Chakra balancing music and the singing bowls all of that resonates straight through to your womb. So, she's getting all that good womb wellness.
Keyana Nikaamen: And this is every day, we've been doing this my whole relationship with my husband. This is him. And I loved it. So, I jumped right in. So, this is something that's been every day of our life. It started so part of our routine. And then yes, the entire pregnancy. We've been doing it so Naomi should know all about it. And she moves around when she hears that so I think she likes it.
Interviewer: She does, that's beautiful. I love it.
Keyana Nikaamen: And then I'm excited to get her out on the hiking trails. [Inaudible 22:18].
Interviewer: Okay, so we have a few more minutes left. Hopefully, we can squeeze this in. And that was a perfect segue, I want to talk a little bit about your other baby Hikeolution. And then how that led you to your work with the Newark Center for Meditative Culture.
Keyana Nikaamen: Okay, as I said, my first hike was in 2013. And then my first group hike was in 2015. And that was my birthday. So, the same guy who introduced me to hiking, suggested that for my birthday that year, I organize a hike. And I was hesitant, because even though hiking had become my thing for the past two years. It didn't dawn on me that other people might be interested in discovering it for themselves. But I said, okay, fine. And I posted the hike. And surprisingly 17 people came out and I'm like, where are all these people coming out interested in hiking, so that was wonderful. And those people once they came out for that hike, they were like, okay, when's the next one? And I'm like, well, why don't have the next one, because it's my birthday, my birthday is once I don't have another one.
But since they wanted another one, I asked the guy who led my birthday hike, can you do one again next month? So, then we went out in May and then just like clockwork, they're like, well, when's the next one? So, I asked if he could do the June one? He was like, no, I think you should take the reins of this if they want to go out. Often you should take them. And I was like, wait a minute. I don't want to lead them, even though I had been hiking at the south mountain for two years, knew to trails, like the back of my hands. I had some reservations about me being the hike leader. I was like, no. If I take all these people out, what if we get lost? What if I just forget everything? What if I get so nervous? And he was like, relax, you got this. So, that's how I jumped into leading these group hikes in 2015.
And that same year, I met a man named Kazi, who is the spiritual director for NCMC. The organization was founded in 2012. But he has been a part of it as a spiritual director, and he had his hiking group in the 80s. So, Kazi is like an avid hiker himself, when I'm with him, he was leading a hike up at Woodstock at overlook mountain. So, I went and did that hike. And then we were talking and he found out that I was doing this hiking group regularly. And he was telling me about in NCMC, he's like, we have some programs that maybe you could be a part of, and I was like, cool, keep me posted. And sure enough, two years after that, he was doing a deep ecology program for young men and women, actually, school kids, so boys and girls, and he asked me to be the leader of the girl’s hike, and then another guy I was hiking with he was a part of hike pollution. His name was Leslie. He asked him to do the boy’s hike. So yes, we came out, we gladly accepted and we led two hikes that day.
And it was more than hiking, it was hiking meditation, cheese on poetry so we broke the two groups up the girl’s hike, just by themselves, the boy’s hike, but so it's like a rite of pass-ish kind of a program. And it was wonderful. It was a great turnout, with 25 kids for each group. Yeah, my relationship with NCMC continued. And I've done a lot of urban hikes for them, which are in the city of Newark, because not many people know this will not be trailing Newark, that the signs are there right on the street, and leave you all through branch Brook Park. So, I've done a lot of urban hikes with them. And then last year, they invited me to be a board member. So since last May, I've been on their board of directors and helping out with that. And it's been wonderful. I believe in the work that NCMC does, with meditation being such an important part of my own life. So, it was just an easy extension. And it's like, I think we should get involved with organizations that match our lifestyle. And so, it was so easy for me to say yes to them, because it's helping me and I'm helping them it's like a nice reciprocal relationship.
Interviewer: I love that. I was very happy when I first moved to Newark in 2017. I kind of stumbled into the NCMC offerings throughout Newark, from the Military Park Yoga and Tai Chi classes that they would host and then have your meditation classes throughout the city. So, I'd love then NCMC and love that Hikeolution is now in partnership and you are part of their board. I think that's so dope.
Keyana Nikaamen: Thank you.
Interviewer: Yes, so we are now at the end. I have one final segment if I can have just a couple more minutes of your time. And we can go out pretty close to our time slot. So, this final segment of the podcast right now we're running with the name of inside the Ohmies Studio, we're going to allow our guests, our listeners if they have another name that they'd like to recommend I'm open to two names for this segment. But inside the Ohmie studio is 10 final questions. rapid-fire questions quick answers, one word to one phrase short sentences. Don't think about it too much. Have fun with it.
Keyana Nikaamen: This sounds like fun, lightning round.
Interviewer: Yes, exactly. Okay, so we'll take a collective breath before we get started. When you're ready. Deep inhale. Full exhale. And we'll go. Describe your style in one word.
Keyana Nikaamen: Firey.
Interviewer: What's one thing you wish you can change about the world?
Keyana Nikaamen: Peace.
Interviewer: What brings you joy?
Keyana Nikaamen: Doing what I want.
Interviewer: What makes you cry?
Keyana Nikaamen: Overwhelming emotions.
Interviewer: What type of impact do you want to leave on this earth?
Keyana Nikaamen: Definitely legacy. I want to write a book. So, [inaudible 28:11], I need that out there to live forever when I'm gone.
Interviewer: What's your favorite thing about being black?
Keyana Nikaamen: You said one thing, but man is a million. I just love it. We're just amazing. No one can do it like us.
Interviewer: What do you hope for your community?
Keyana Nikaamen: Unity, I want us to stick together and build together and leave the western ideals, we got to get rid of that.
Interviewer: What do you love most about yourself?
Keyana Nikaamen: My optimism, nothing can bring me down.
Interviewer: What's your favorite book?
Keyana Nikaamen: I got so many, but I'll just say The Blue Sky for now.
Interviewer: Okay. And then the last question named five music artists that would appear on the soundtrack of your life.
Keyana Nikaamen: Okay. Fiona Apple. People don't know that about me. But I love her.
Interviewer: Fast as You Can, is one of my favorites to this day.
Keyana Nikaamen: Glad you know who she is, you know her music but Fiona Apple is my life. Erykah Badu, Jill Scott so now we're up to three. Another soundtrack of my life would be Maysa she's a jazz artist, I love her. Okay. And then Shade, no, I don't want to take anybody off. But I got to put in India Arie up there because of India Arie her by herself is the soundtrack to my life. I asked her if she and I are the same people, in everything she writes. It's like those are my words, those are my feelings. So, I can't believe I named her last but she's the soundtrack to my life.
Interviewer: You save the best for last. It's all good. India Arie is the bonus. We love her too. This has been so dull. I so appreciate you. I appreciate your energy. Anytime that we connect whether we're on a trail or not. I love you. I appreciate you.
Keyana Nikaamen: Thank you. I'm so happy that we met, there are no coincidences so I know that we met for a reason and I love watching you, you're so talented. You know you do these videos, these podcasts, and your yoga and you're so good at it and I'm like, wow, she knows how to do everything. So, I wish you the best in all your endeavors as well.
Interviewer: Thank you before we head out, let the people know where they can find you, your socials, your websites, anything you have that you want to share.
Keyana Nikaamen: Sure. So, the group is Hikeolution, people usually spell it wrong, but it's HIKEOLUTION. Hikeolution. You can find us on Facebook, Instagram. We usually do more on Instagram than we do on Facebook. And then we also post our hikes on meetup, so that's meetup.com/hikeolution. There are no dashes, you don't have to separate the O and lution, it's just a one-word Hikeolution.
Interviewer: And I'll post a link so everyone will know exactly how to spell it so you can find Keyana, hopefully, find her on a trail, and yes, well, she won't be on her feet for the next few months for her baby girl but she has an amazing team behind her as well. That will help keep the Hikeolution legacy going. While mom is on bed rest hopefully not depressed but resting with the little girl. Awesome. Thank you so much again, love. I appreciate you.
Keyana Nikaamen: Thank you so much. Talk to you soon.
Interviewer: Bye
Keyana Nikaamen: Bye