Mildred Velez is the founder and president of the FCSA. She was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia in 2007 and founded the FCSA in response to the lack of adequate education, treatment and support for those living with Fibromyalgia
Mildred Velez is the founder and president of the FCSA. She was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia in 2007 and founded the FCSA in response to the lack of adequate education, treatment and support for those living with Fibromyalgia. Her 25-year career in social services drives her passion and purpose work to amplify the voices of the people within marginalized communities. Milly is truly an example of creating the change that you want to see. It was a pleasure to sit with her inside the ohmies studio.
https://www.facebook.com/fibrocares
S01E05 - Ohmies Pod_Milly Velez
Jewell [00:00:00] Welcome, Milly. I am so happy to have you here chatting on the Yoga Wit the Ohmies pod. I know that you are so busy and so I'm really grateful that I was able to get some time on your calendar.
Mildred Velez [00:00:14] Good morning. Thank you for having me. I'm happy to be here.
Jewell [00:00:18] Thank you. I wanted to kick things off by talking all things about fibromyalgia and just learning a little bit about when you first started experiencing your symptoms. And then what was the journey like for you being diagnosed?
Mildred Velez [00:00:34] So I started experiencing symptoms in late 2006. I say I'm one of the lucky ones because I got my diagnosis within a year of symptoms. So I was diagnosed by 2007. The average time frame that we're seeing for fibromyalgia diagnosis is usually five years. I was lucky in the fact that my primary care physician was the one that diagnosed me and he was the spouse to a person living with fibromyalgia. So when I walked into his office describing how I felt being a 30 plus year old, living in a 100+ person's body, he quickly started a workup. And as he started to work up, he started ruling out everything else. And I was able to get a diagnosis within a year.
Jewell [00:01:24] Hmm, interesting. So I wonder, like, how much did your doctors, spouse already having fibro, like, how much did that play into his ability to be able to diagnose you within a year? Because perhaps for some people who might be going to their primary care provider and with similar symptoms, maybe they have a longer lead time with getting diagnosed because their doctor doesn't have any experience with fibro or other autoimmune illnesses. That's really interesting.
Mildred Velez [00:01:58] And his case also, I learned some history later on, which was that he actually misdiagnosed his his wife and he kept saying, "it can't be fibromyalgia." And he felt that he allowed her to suffer in with pain for so long because he kept looking for something else that wasn't there.
Jewell [00:02:23] Wow. Wow. Thank you for sharing that, as I feel like that probably is pretty common in people living with autoimmune illnesses in general, whether it's fibro, lupus or any of the other illnesses that fall in the autoimmune spectrum, that people are often misdiagnosed.
Mildred Velez [00:02:42] Correct. But I also think I also know that there's also a stigma that comes with fibromyalgia? So I believe in my doctor's case that may have been playing a role. And I'm just guessing at that because he kept saying it can't be fibromyalgia. And because of the stigma, he didn't want his wife to be diagnosed with fibromyalgia. And then once he saw that it was she was still suffering, there was nothing else there. And she eventually got a diagnosis and was able to start managing her symptoms and feeling better. He didn't want to put anyone else through that just because of that stigma that was associated.
Jewell [00:03:18] Yeah, well, good for him that he was able to notice that his own error and then be so intentional about the thoroughness of how he treated patients with chronic pain going forward. So I think that that was a really good learning in that experience.
Mildred Velez [00:03:36] I agree. And aside from that, he was very compassionate. And I think that compassion came from from witnessing fibromyalgia firsthand.
Jewell [00:03:45] Yeah. If you feel comfortable, can you talk a little bit about some of the symptoms that you're currently living with as it relates to your fibro?
Mildred Velez [00:03:53] Sure. Again, I believe now I'm I'm I'm again one of the lucky ones because I've learned how to manage symptoms, but doesn't mean that I don't have symptoms. Some of the symptoms that that I do currently have is neck pain, back pain. Fibro fog plays a big role, which is when we can't get our our mouth to register what our brains are thinking or it comes out like alphabet mush. So we're thinking, we're trying to speak, but other things are coming out. So that was a really big one for me that I am slowly overcoming, but is still very much present and anxious feelings I get I, I get anxious at times, really anxious. And although I also have a diagnosis of anxiety, I know it's sometimes brought on by the fibro or vice versa. I have anxiety and then it makes my fibromyalgia symptoms flare up as well.
Jewell [00:04:54] Yeah. Yeah. Similarly, I suffer with anxiety probably since childhood. Well, I know since childhood, I won't even say probably just in some of the anxious habits that I've had over the years, like skin picking or having all-out panic attacks and things like that. And I do know that when I am more anxious or when my mental health is not at its optimal level, I experience more lupus flares. And brain fog is an issue for me. Brain fog versus fibro fog, but it's all one in the same where it's just: I am thinking things and they just don't come out of my mouth the way that I'm thinking, or people will say things to me and it just really does not register like I can the... The portions of my brain, like the syntax, they are just not connecting so that I could really register and understand what people are saying at times. So yeah brain fog is a for-real issue on top of all the joint aches and pains. So autoimmune illness is never fun. But I feel like the longer you have your autoimmune illness and the more you understand your symptoms, the more you can tap into your healing tools that, you know, work for you. Like if I'm having brain fog, I may just, like, stop working on whatever I'm working on and just take a break or take a breath break or meditation or maybe I might do some yoga if my joints and things are hurting.Verses in the past dealing with these symptoms and not really knowing how connected they were to my lupus, that I would just kind of try to push through. But now, to your point earlier, it's more about having more compassion for myself and the symptoms
Mildred Velez [00:06:41] and also normalizing it, I think also helps as well. So I was having a conversation recently with my son and the brain fog appeared, and I said, oh, my brain is no longer working. And I just brushed it off. And he turned to me and he said, I like the way you just did that. You just said, oh, like, let's just stop because my brain is not working. And he said, You didn't stress over you didn't try to force it. You just said, my brain is not working. And let's talk about something else until that train of thought comes back. And I think the more we normalize it, even for ourselves, we get more comfortable with this. This is just my my normal self. And this is going to happen. And I'm not going to stress about it. I'm not going to get anxious about it because it's going to make it worse. And then I'm not going to get that train of thought back if I if I stress or if I get anxious over it. So let me just, you know, like you said, I mean, just take a break or let me just normalize and see my brain is not working and let me do something else until I can't get back to doing what I want it to do or what I wanted to say.
Jewell [00:07:49] Yeah, I'd love that. Thank you for sharing that moment. Do you have any other examples of ways that Fibro has impacted your personal or your professional life? Like what are some of the ways that it shows up?
Mildred Velez [00:08:02] So like I said, this actually ties in nice to the whole normalizing it. When I was first diagnosed with fibromyalgia, I was working for a national organization and in a senior position. And I remember speaking to my boss about my diagnosis and telling him how it would... how I learned that through the research that he was going to affect my cognitive impairment. And his response was, oh, that can happen because we need your cognitive impairments for you to do your job. And I don't think it came from a bad place. I think it just came from a place of not knowing. But that stayed with me. And as the symptoms started appearing, the fibro fog started appearing. And as more stress was put on my plate in the position that I was in, it got worse. And what ended up happening was I lost my voice. Not literally lost my voice, like, I could still speak, but I stoped speaking because I was embarrassed of what was going to come out of my mouth. I was embarrassed of how I would be viewed in meetings. I wasn't able to normalize it in the way where I later was able to normalize it with my son and say, my brain, just stop working, let me go on. And then that just caused me more more anxiety, more stress. And it made me depressed because I was no longer the person that was able to handle everything and that was able to have this photographic memory to remember everything that I wanted to do, I wanted to do. And here I am in a senior position, sitting at the head of of a very important table. But I couldn't speak or I didn't want to speak. I could speak, but I didn't want to speak because I was afraid of how fibromyalgia would manifest in those meetings and how it would be viewed. [Jewell: Yeah.] And that that was difficult. That was difficult for me emotionally. It was really difficult for me.
Jewell [00:10:07] I can I, can I, I know I can't even say I can only imagine because I know what that feeling is like and I really appreciate you sharing that anecdote. I worked in corporate America for twelve years in the corporate fashion industry and I worked for major Fortune 500 companies that they're huge brands. And I didn't realize or I didn't learn until the last few years of my corporate career, that people who live with autoimmune illness, we actually are protected by the law and we have the option to apply for FMLA leave. The Family Medical Leave Act, which protects us, that if we have symptoms that could potentially impact our work, it's illegal to be discriminated against in the workplace. Special accommodations have to be made for us at work. So what I realized the last couple of years in my corporate career that in applying for this FMLA leave that if I ever had severe lupus symptoms, that I was allowed to work from home or even take time off from work and my job would still be protected and my managers were not legally allowed to treat me any different. So for those of you that are living with autoimmune illness and you don't know about that, I just wanted to share because like I said, I worked in corporate America for 10 years prior to the last two when I learned that I could apply and be approved for FMLA leave and have certain accommodations in the workplace. So it was actually really inappropriate for your boss to say that we need your cognitive ability for your job, which is to your point, he probably didn't have any malintention with saying that. But at the same time, you can't say that to your employees. That's when you let them know, like, OK, well, there are certain H.R. procedures that we have to protect you and we want to make sure that you're at your best so you can take care of your health first and then when you're fully well, that you can contribute to the to the workplace in the way that we want you to, and we need you to. I think that would've been a much better response, than, "oh, no, we need your brain! We can't have that!"
Mildred Velez [00:12:24] And thank you for saying that, because here's the other caveat. I actually was the person that oversaw the HR department.
Jewell [00:12:32] Yeah.
Mildred Velez [00:12:32] And I also was the person that granted FMLA and granted accommodations to people. And through that, I've learned so many different things. So I knew that I could take time off. I knew that FMLA was available. I knew I knew that I was in a protected class. But I think what people can learn from my story is, like you just said, please use it, because I ultimately ended up resigning because I felt like I couldn't take the pressure anymore. And it was just in one of those anxious moments of mine that I was like, I can't do this anymore. And what and I just saw that fight or flight response and I decided to fight to flight and my career ended. And and I don't feel bad anymore for that because I'm. I believe that I'm in the right position knowing where I need to be to help my community, but for someone else, that that story could have been really different in that moment to just have that fight or flight response and and leave abruptly and then not be able to find another position or find another suitable employment. So please, please, just if if you are in the workplace and you need an accommodation, request it you you are eligible for that. You are protected for that. And do it before you get into one of those moments where you're just like, I can't take this anymore. It's just too much.
Jewell [00:14:09] Yeah. Thank you. Thank you so much for sharing that and adding to that point. And that is the perfect segue way. I want to talk a little bit about what inspired you to start the Fibromyalgia Care Society of America?
Mildred Velez [00:14:22] So in 2015, I started thinking about awareness walks and I started researching awareness walks in the fibromyalgia community. And I couldn't find awareness walks, but I could find walks for for lupus, for cancer, for mental health, for for every other medical illness that you could think of. But I couldn't find anything for fibromyalgia, so I had this thought of I'm going to bring the community together and I'm going to raise awareness by having this walk in New York City once a year. And with that thought, I reached out to a few people that I knew from Facebook fibromyalgia group and asked if they would join in. And they did. And we did this first walk with the proceeds going to another fibromyalgia organization at the time. And as I did it and as the day approached, so many people kept coming to me, thanking me for doing that and sharing their personal stories with me. And when I got back home, it was bittersweet in the way that I was happy that I brought the community together and that I met all these people. But it was sad that there was all these people there that just that we were able to bring together for that one day. But I started thinking what had happened to them the other three hundred and sixty four days a year.
Jewell [00:15:52] Yeah.
Mildred Velez [00:15:53] And as I researched more of the work that was being done in the fibromyalgia community, I didn't see any direct services being being out there for the community and being that that's that was my background. Social services. I've always been a not for profit sector servicing people. I said, how can we service? Where is the greatest need? Where is no one else servicing the community? And how can we bring that? Those services to the community? And that's how the FCSA was birthed out of an awareness walk.
Jewell [00:16:30] I love it. I love it. And I know. So you with the FCSA, a large part of what you all do is you focus on educating people about fibro and then you provide, like to your point, services in terms of wellness and mental health services. And that's the primary advocacy work that you all do. Is there anything else that the FCSA does that I am missing?
Mildred Velez [00:16:55] No, currently that sort of wraps it all up. There's obviously a lot of more stuff that there's a lot more need and there's also a lot more things that we have in the pipeline that we're hoping to to bring to the community. But I think even with those, they just discussing those three brief pillars, I think that that does cover it well, because the other stuff we have in the pipeline sort of falls underneath that as well. But there are other things that we're not currently doing that we are hoping to to bring soon, once we have more resources.
Jewell [00:17:27] Yeah. Nice! I'm excited for the expansion of the organization. I think maybe it's been a year or two since I first connected with you all and I've learned so much. I don't like to stay in my lupus silo because I feel like there's so many different. Well, number one, they're symptoms that I experienced that I know other people with fibro experience as well, but then I also learned a lot about fibro with the definitely through the Fibro Friends podcast and then the different resources that I found on your page. And it really helped me to understand more of how autoimmune illness manifests in other people's lives. And so that's really been interesting to learn. So I love and appreciate all of the work that you all do. It really helps me to just be more more well-rounded and what I'm understanding about autoimmune illnesses, but also helping me to connect to a greater community of people that are also suffering with similar things that I experienced. So I I love, love, love the work that the FCSA does.
Jewell [00:18:31] What is your spiritual wellness practice look like?
Mildred Velez [00:18:33] My spiritual wellness practice consists of daily meditation and a lot of prayer. Um, I pray daily sometimes a lot during the day. I feel that with the fibromyalgia and all the symptoms that come about. You have to have some type of spiritual wellness behind it. And also just with the work that we're trying to do, it's really hard work and there are days that I am struggling with with my with my body and with my symptoms. And someone else may need help in the fibromyalgia community. And I have to work through my symptoms and what I'm experiencing to help that person. And I couldn't see doing that without taking that brief moment to pause and and meditate and speak to a higher power and ask for that for that strength that's needed in the moment. And that's the only place that I'm able to to get it. The only way that I've been able to get to to receive it is through that those daily prayers and those daily meditation breaks.
Jewell [00:19:55] Thank you. Thank you for sharing that. I on one of our walks through the park, you had shared the prayer that you said to help you work through your fibro fog. And I just thought that was so beautiful that you were intentional in your prayer practice to ask for help from God and say, "there's so much that I want to do with this organization, but I need my brain to be free and clear, to be able to execute." And so I thought that was so beautiful. And I really appreciate you sharing more of what that spiritual wellness practice looks like for you.
Mildred Velez [00:20:30] Thank you. And that park is major for me. I mean, there, there, there there's many times that... And that's that's where I think my my spiritual practice and my faith has grown even bigger. And I shared this with you during that same walk that you mentioned when I said, you know, I can do this work, I can do this ministry, but I need my I need my brain. I can't do it if my brain is not functioning, like, please help me restore my brain and I will give the body and I will give the energy and I will put in the work. But I need my brain to work in order to to do this work. And many times I sat by that lake looking at that cathedral and asking for those for those things like, I can do this, but you're going to have to give me something so that I can do it. And I couldn't see doing it without without having having incorporated that [prayer] day by day.
Jewell [00:21:24] Yeah. Yeah, I wholeheartedly agree that for me, definitely, prayer and meditation have been the cornerstones of my wellness practice for sure. So switching gears a little bit, the FCSA and both of our businesses are based in Newark, New Jersey, tri state area, and there is a huge Latinx population in this area. So I wanted to know specifically you being Puerto Rican, Latina woman, what are your thoughts on increasing access to holistic wellness and mental health services, specifically for the Latinx community?
Mildred Velez [00:22:02] It's desperately needed. However, I think that before we can increase access, we have to increase education outreach because in the Latinx community, there are still still stigmas attached to mental health. That's where we need to increase the education and normalize it, because people think that in the Latinx community, this is a very big deal where people think, oh, that person is going to therapy. They're they're insane. And it's like, no, I go to therapy so that I don't go insane.
Jewell [00:22:41] Yeah!
[00:22:41] But people still have the stigma of, you know, you can't talk about these things because if someone knows that I'm going to go to therapy, they're going to have to label me or I'm not going to go to therapy because I don't want to be labeled. So I think there's a lot of education that we still have to do in the Latino community and normalize mental health and then we can increase access to it and increase access to holistic wellness as well. So we spoke about meditation earlier and they're still also the the misperception with meditation that that that it is spiritual and that you are worshiping Buddha and not that you are just breathing through certain moments. It's not... I know you and I use meditation, but I know that a lot of people have started to stay away from meditation and they're saying more "mindfulness" so that when people come in, specifically in the Latinx community, come and say, you know, I can't do this because I serve a different God, I don't serve Buddha, you can say, well, you're not meditating. You're doing a mindfulness practice that we're just breathing and you're doing a breathing exercise or breathing practice. So I think there's a lot of education and outreach that we to do to our communities prior to to increasing the access to this, we can increase access, but if the people are not going to come because they're miseducated, then we're doing a disservice and we're not putting our resources in the right place.
Jewell [00:24:15] Yeah. Thank you for sharing that perspective. And I think you're absolutely right. There's a couple things that I wanted to pull from that. First, I grew up in a Baptist family, but went to Catholic school my whole life. So I would go to Baptist Church Services on Sundays and then from like third grade until high school, I'd have to attend mass and go to religious classes to learn part of Catholic practices and faith, just because it was part of the Catholic school curriculum and although I don't consider myself to be a Christian anymore, there is still certain elements of the Christian faith that are just foundational of who I am. And one of the scriptures that I love the most. I don't know the exact place in the Bible where it is, but it's "be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind", which essentially it is. That's what meditation is. It is just allowing quiet spaces in our mind to allow God to come in and really speak to us and clear out all of the anxious thoughts that we have, whether it be thinking about something that could potentially transpire in the future or we are ruminating on something in the past. Meditation is a time for us to be present in the actual moment that we're in and not worrying about past or future. And I think when we're present in that moment, that's when God has the most space to work in our lives. So I do understand that hesitancy from people who are Christian faith and other faiths as well. They're hesitant to try certain mindfulness practices because they think that it is spiritual or religious based when in actuality it's not
Mildred Velez [00:26:08] That was so beautiful. Thank you for sharing that. I need to look that up. I never heard that.
Jewell [00:26:14] Yessss!
Mildred Velez [00:26:14] It is so beautiful and it's so, so true because like I stated earlier, I couldn't do this work without meditating. And it's in those moments when I'm meditating that I'm able to really quiet my mind. And I know people say prayers when you speak to God and meditation is more when you're quieting your mind. But I've like I've had my experiences where I feel that while I'm meditating that God is speaking to me and I am speaking to and to Him.
Jewell [00:26:52] Mm hmm.
Jewell [00:26:55] Yeah. I think if we're always constantly downloading to God and telling God what we want or what our prayers are, then when are we giving I mean, God is constantly talking to us all the time and communicating to us all the time. But if we are always downloading and outputting to God, where are we creating space and that stillness that God can talk to us. Like I feel like in my meditation, that is that's when I feel God working most in my life and that's when I will have to me its divine moments of thought where like an idea or something, will come to me. And I really feel like it's God talking and inspiring me to do X, Y and Z.
Mildred Velez [00:27:38] And when you quiet... For me, I have that same experience. But also when I quiet my mind, when I'm able to like, quiet my mind and I go out, I feel also there are signs that are put in front of me and I don't really pay attention to the signs until my mind is is quiet. So, yes, I will get all these great thoughts and ideas of how to... of things that I want to do or things that I should be doing. But then also quieting my mind, I'm able to also see certain things that will speak to that thought that I had when I was meditating. And I'm like, OK, so this is how this is going to go down. And this is how I need to do this. And I couldn't see those things happening without my daily prayer meditation because that's where my mind is, is quiet and it is focused and gets focused.
Jewell [00:28:31] Yeah. Yeah. And then something else you had mentioned earlier in regards to the Latinx community viewing mental health as still a taboo topic. There's still a lot of stigma. And I seen similar in the Black community, although I feel like with the younger generation being more open to talk about therapy and their own mental health journeys, I'm starting to see that people are being more open to saying, like, yeah, I suffer with anxiety and depression or yeah, I go to therapy every week and it's been really helpful. For me, I've been in therapy every week for over a year now, and there's been so many connections that I've made between early childhood trauma to the development of lupus and autoimmune illnesses in my body and how that all connects to mental health. I think communities of color and in general, we need to get to the point where we think of our mental health and our brain health the same way that we think of our physical health, like none of us would ever think twice about. Like if we're going to a doctor that manages our diabetes or if we have high blood pressure, like we would take our medication and we follow the doctor's orders. Right. But when it comes to mental health, we don't think of it as the same way. Like, our brain literally controls everything in our body. And if our brain... If they're chemical imbalances in our brain or our emotional health is impacting our medical mental health, then that will impact our physical health, too. And so I'm looking forward as a Latinx community, African-American community, I mean, African diaspora in total, because it's not just Black people that are from the United States, but as a community in total, that we're moving away from that stigma of managing our mental health and realizing how important mental health is to our physical health. Our mental health impacts how we interact with people in our family and our work, really how we feel about ourselves too, like all of that is combined in our mental health.
Mildred Velez [00:30:42] Definitely. And and that's where I think that that's where the education and the outreach comes and that we need to do in our communities. Because to your point of we need to take care of our mental health the same way we take care of our bodies, I see that a lot to people when they say, you know, when I tell them, have you tried meditation? Have you tried mindfulness? And they're like, oh, I tried it one time, didn't work. And I'm like, well, when you go to the gym to exercise your body, you don't see results the first time you go. You see results after a week either. This is a practice. You're exercising your mind the same way you exercise your body. So you're going to have to continue this so that then you can see results. The results will come. But they're not going to come right away. They're not going to come immediately because you're exercising your brain. The same way you don't you don't see results immediately when you exercise your body, you're not going to see those results immediately. And I feel that's an education piece because people think, OK, I'm going to meditate today, but it didn't work, ummm one. You know, you might see a little something or feel a little something, but most people don't. It's going to take time. It's going to take time for you to to see the impact of it. I've been meditating for a couple of years now, and once I started doing it more consistently was when I started seeing the results. I would just do it when my brain was too foggy, that I couldn't do anything else and it would help in the moment, but it didn't help in the long term.
Jewell [00:32:17] Mm hmm.
Mildred Velez [00:32:18] And as I practice it more regularly, I'm seeing the results of it benefiting me longer term than just doing it in the moment.
Jewell [00:32:28] Yes.
Mildred Velez [00:32:29] That's the whole education piece that people don't understand.
Jewell [00:32:33] Mm hmm. Yeah, for sure it takes consistency. Yeah. And then also knowing that there's so many different forms of meditation, like even the walks that you do in the park, that's a form of meditation. It doesn't have to be like sitting still with the I mean, that image that we have is sitting and seated cross-legged position and your back straight and you just eyes close. Like, no, that's there's so many different forms of meditation. So if that's the image that you see and that's what you think of meditation, there might be another form that you like better.
Mildred Velez [00:33:05] And there are some people that can't even close their eyes. They have such deep trauma that they're closing their eyes is too much for them. So like this morning, I did my meditation where I actually did close my eyes, but I wasn't sitting. I actually I like to do a lot of dance therapy, so I close my eyes, but I danced through it and that was able to help me. So I did a little... I included a little bit of movement, a little bit of meditation. And I did choose to close my eyes. But you don't even need to close your eyes sometimes doing dance and just getting your brain to focus on whether it's a tree outside your window is a form of meditation or whether it's just the sound of the birds chirping outside your window and you're meditating, you're focusing on that. So you don't have to have your legs crossed or have your eyes closed or be seated a certain way. There's so many different forms of meditation. And people could... If you could just find the one or variations that work for you, it does help you in the long term.
Jewell [00:34:11] Yes. Thank you. Thank you so much for sharing that. I don't want to discount those natural indigenous practices that come that have been like historical traditions as part of our communities for centuries. Like dance, like whether you're talking about dance in the African continent, any of the Caribbean islands or South America dance and music and drumming and humming and those practices that are innate to our cultures. Those are healing practices, too, and those are wellness and well-being practices, too. So thank you so much for saying that you do dance therapy, because that is very like all of that helps to move the trauma out of our body. And we need that. We need that.
Mildred Velez [00:34:52] Yes. Yes. Because you can work through those emotions through dance depending on your mood. And it depends on my mood which dance I'm doing.
Jewell [00:35:01] The last official question for you on this list. I want to know what type of wellness practices and self care tips did you pass on to your children, whether it was intentional that you had them sit and do these practices with you or maybe they were just able to see you doing these practices? What does that look like? What is generational healing look like for you as you're passing down these tools to your children?
Mildred Velez [00:35:26] It's different. It varies. So my daughter does meditate. She's very much into meditation, and that was something that she started doing after she saw me doing it. For my sons, they had not been able to meditate, they have tried it and I have spoken heavily on it. And one of them, what he does is more breathing. So he does breathing exercises, but he says that he can't sit still. So to your point earlier, that you don't have to sit still, you can do it walking. His meditation form is not a sitting still meditation; it's more of just moving, being active and breathing. My male children do more of exercise as a self care tool. One of them likes to do more running. Another one likes to go more to the gym and do the hardcore workouts in the gym. And then my daughter is more of along the lines of sitting still meditation. We do a lot of art therapy as well. So where she's really good at, at arts and graphics. I'm not. But we do have the canvases and we do have the different color arts and we will paint on canvases and just sit still with that. And the pretty colors make us feel good.
Jewell [00:36:56] Yes!
Mildred Velez [00:36:56] We do a lot of scent stuff. So we do have.... I have [essential oil] diffusers in my apartment. She has diffusers in her apartment as well because the smell of the scent are really good for us as well. So it's different with the males and and my female. My female does more, more things like I do. But the boys are more into more exercise, and running, and sports related stuff. But that those are forms of self care as well.
Jewell [00:37:26] Absolutely!
Mildred Velez [00:37:28] And the way they are able to to clear their minds.
Jewell [00:37:32] Hmm. That's awesome! Thank you so much for sharing that. I love that your children is so active in a breath of wellness activities. That's really cool!
Mildred Velez [00:37:41] So the last segment of this podcast is called Inside the Ohmie's Studio. It is ten questions. They are rapid fire questions that don't think about them too much, just one word or short phrase answers. Have fun with it. No pressure. We're going to start with a collective breath. So just emptying all of the air that's currently in your lungs. And together, we inhale. And exhale. Let's jump in.
Jewell [00:38:20] Describe your personal style in one word.
Mildred Velez [00:38:23] Loving.
Jewell [00:38:25] What's one thing you wish you can change about the world?
Mildred Velez [00:38:30] Be more kind.
Jewell [00:38:32] What brings you joy?
Mildred Velez [00:38:35] Nature.
Jewell [00:38:35] What makes you cry?
Mildred Velez [00:38:39] Ugly.
Jewell [00:38:41] What type of impact do you want to have on this earth?
Mildred Velez [00:38:45] Change one person.
Jewell [00:38:49] What's your favorite? Oh, you have more to that one?
Mildred Velez [00:38:52] Oh, like that was a bigger one! Change one person for the better.
Jewell [00:38:57] Ok! What's your favorite thing about being Afro-Latina?
Mildred Velez [00:39:00] My favorite thing about being Afro Latina is that people see me when I show up as the color of my skin and it gives me the opportunity, for people that view me that way, to educate people on the history of Puerto Rico and where our roots are and what my ancestors looked like specifically my great grandmother, that just did not look like me at all.
Jewell [00:39:31] I love that! What do you hope for your community?
Mildred Velez [00:39:38] Betterment. Financial growth. Healing.
Jewell [00:39:47] Yeah, what do you love most about yourself?
Mildred Velez [00:39:52] I love that I'm a caring person.
Jewell [00:39:56] What's your favorite book?
Mildred Velez [00:39:58] When I was Puerto Rican by Esmeralda Santiago.
Jewell [00:40:00] Oh, I love that book too!
Mildred Velez [00:40:05] You read it?! You're the first person that knew what I was talking about.
Jewell [00:40:07] Yeah! I read that in college. I studied Spanish language and literature in college. So I read a lot of books by authors from the Latino community. So, yeah, that's that's a really good one. Yes. I'm excited to put that on the list. And then the last question, five music artists that would appear on the soundtrack of your life
Mildred Velez [00:40:30] [Laughter] Beyonce, Shakira, Alicia Keys, Tasha Cobbs. That's four right?
Jewell [00:40:41] Give me one more
Mildred Velez [00:40:43] Cardi B because she's from the Bronx!
Jewell [00:40:44] All right! We're going put Cardi B on the list! I fucks with Cardi! I like her! Thank you so much, Milly. I always enjoy our conversations. This was so good! I can't wait to edit this for the people to hear it. If people want to follow up with you and your work, where should they find you? Social media. The website. List the things.
Mildred Velez [00:41:07] They should find me on the website w w w dot fibro dot org and also Facebook Milly Velez.
Jewell [00:41:16] Awesome. And I will link both the website and the Facebook page in the show notes so people could find you. They can spell it correctly. Thank you so much, again! I appreciate you. I appreciate your time.
Mildred Velez [00:41:28] Thank you.